What Was and Never Could Be
by areosmithlover
Summary: Remus gets a shock on his last day of his seventh year at Hogwarts. One-shot. Wolfstar


Sirius had been thinking about it all year-where he was and how he had gotten there and what he was going to do now. He had known James Potter, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew for seven years of his life, and now Hogwarts was ending for him. He couldn't help but be afraid that everything would change and the memories would fade.

A lot had changed over those eventful and courageous seven years. James had _finally_ gotten the girl of his dreams, Remus and Sirius were _finally_ a couple after being relentlessly in love with each other for seven years without saying anything about it to anyone, and Peter had changed from being a little tag-a-long buddy to being a confidant and best mate to Sirius. A lot had changed, but they were all still so close, the four of them, but even so, leaving Hogwarts was bearing down on all of them like a silent weight. And now, because of this, Sirius was making a big decision, not even entirely sure where it would lead him.

"Padfoot," James said urgently, trying to stir Sirius from his daydreaming. "Padfoot, it's all going to be ruined if you don't hurry up, mate. It'll be alright."

"You go, I'll be down in a minute," Sirius replied as James walked out of the common room, giving his best mate a sympathetic smile as he went.

Five minutes later, Sirius decided it was time to get a move on as he, too, descended the stairs, feeling heavy with nerves and fiddling with something in his pocket as he went.

As he reached the doors opening to the vast and wondrous Great Hall, he sighed, trying to get himself to calm down. Once he realized that calming down was out of the question, however, he took a deep breath, opened the doors, and muttered a swift, "Oh, Merlin…." under his breath.

He reached the place at the Gyffindo table where he and his friends always sat and tapped Remus on the shoulder. "Hey, Moons, can we talk for a minute?"

"'Course, Pads," he replied, smiling serenely and assuring the others that he would be right back.

"Oh, no, right here's fine. If you could just stand up though, so I don't have to shout."

Both of them now standing in the middle of the Great Hall, people started to quiet, wondering what this was all about. Was Sirius finally getting up the nerves to break off his latest tryst? The question rang through the halls like a wildfire, people wondering if it could _possibly_ be true. Sirius threw nervous glances towards all corners of the now extremely quiet hall. Nobody wanted to miss Remus' reaction when Sirius finally broke it off. _This could go_ so _wrong_ so _easily,_ Sirius worried miserably to himself. He was quickly put back on track, however, by one glance at Remus, this boy he loved so much and was loved so much by in return.

Quickly, almost as if it were instinct, he grabbed Remus' hand and softly held it, beginning rather shakily, "You're my whole world, Remus Lupin, you're my _everything_. . My world wouldn't spin without you to keep it right, but-" Sirius paused, pulling something out of his pocket, making sure to keep it hidden as he bent down on one knee. The Great Hall was filled with soft and shocked gasps and scoffs, and Remus looked as though he could no t _breathe,_ for fear of falling or waking up and this all being a dream. Sirius began again, knowing that he didn't care what they all thought. In that moment, it was just Remus and Sirius and the very select few that they cherished beyond all else. Remus, this beautiful boy that he loved; James, this wonderful boy who was his brother; Peter, this lovely boy who was so, so loyal; and Lily, the only person with whom he trusted to take care of his best friends' heart. They were all that mattered. "The world won't allow us to marry because of bigoted people who don't see what we have as love. They don't _care_ about how our fingers fit together perfectly or how your eyes crinkle when you laugh or how I love all those things; they don't see all that as love, but I know they're wrong. I know that I love you, and I know that you love me. For now, that's all that matters, but one day, I'm holding out hope that the rest of the world can accept that. And when that day comes, I would be _honored_ to marry you, Remus, if you'll have me.

Remus looked shocked but took Sirius' hands and brought him off his knee. He put his forehead against Sirius', and he gently kissed the tip of his nose, nodding a swift 'yes' as Sirius slipped the ring onto his finger. A promise, a love that would last, a promise of better things to come.

Soon, they were hugging and kissing for the whole world to see what it meant to love somebody beyond all odds. It obviously wasn't the whole world, but it was their world; they didn't care that it was silent when if it had been a straight couple, everyone would have been applauding vigorously. They didn't _care_ that everybody was watching them, most wondering with distaste how they could possibly kiss like that. They didn't care that a lot of people looked disgusted. They didn't care that some girls were crying, wishing that somebody would look at them the way Sirius had at Remus when he told him he loved him. They didn't care that it was 1978 and gay marriage was _far_ from legal. They didn't care that James beamed with pride, Peter looked shocked but happy, and Lily wept with joy for two of her favorite boys. And they _definitely_ didn't care that outside those castle walls, the world was crumbling because of war and hatred, because right then, all they felt was love.

They were two of the legendary and infamous group of Marauders, but more than anything and most importantly, they were loved.

It was just too tragic that they, all five of that group, would die before the world decided it was legal and okay for a boy to marry another boy whom he loved very much.

It was ironic, really, that they would die trying to fight the same kind of bigotry and hatred that they had run from all their lives and that they had stood up to that day.

But that was life, wasn't it? Ironic, and so, _so_ tragic.


End file.
